Disclaimer-I am not the legal owner or creator of pokemon. Pokemon is owned by Game Freaks inc. and Nintendo. Anything else that is different would be of my property and should ask my approval before using them.

Warning: This story will contain mature themes. In other words, where talking about sex. There will be no actual doing of sex, but there will talking of sex. So that gives this a rating of PG-13.

Humanesque in Love

by Xen

"Oh these booties are so adorable." Misty held the tiny baby boots in her palm. Misty and Jessie just had baby shower and where putting Misty’s presents away. Currently Misty was three months pregnant and Jessie six pregnant . Duplica and Mrs. Ketchum were helping.

"Look at all these lovely baby clothes." Jessie said.
"Yeah. There such lovely gifts."
"That’s what baby shower are for." Duplica said.

"I’m just glad that my son not shooting blank, if you know what I mean."

"Thanks for that mental image, Mrs. Ketchum." Duplica said.

"So, when are we going to have a baby shower for you, Duplica?" Mrs. Ketchum asked.

"Well...Um...I don’t know."

"What do mean you don’t know. You sound like you’ve haven’t even done it yet." Jessie says. Duplica blushes.

"You mean you’ve been married for four months now and you never had sex with him!"
"Yes." Duplica sweatdropped.

"What are you avoiding him or something."
"No its not that. It just that..."
"Just what?"
"I don’t even think he knows what sex is."
"What do you mean. He’s a guy. Its there instincts to have sex like rabbits."

"Well he lived his life as a Ditto and Ditto’s never had emotions. He’s still new to these feelings. I guess he doesn’t feel urges to do it yet. But I do and I feel that I don’t have sex I’m going to burst."
"Why didn’t you tell him about this?" Misty asked.

"I can’t. I just don’t think its something I should talk about with him."
"Well if you don’t tell him, then who will?" Jessie said.

"I was think that Ash might."

"Well I don’t know about that..." Duplica stopped Misty.
"Ash is the only thing Humanesque has as a father figure. I couldn’t ask him, because it would be embarrassing, but maybe you could Misty."

"Me? What could I do?"
"Tell Ash about this. Please I’ve tried everything to get him, but I he just doesn’t understand."
"Well to help a friend, I’ll do it."
"Okay, thanks."

"Now let get to the cake." Miss. Ketchum said.
"OK!" Everyone said.


"Um Ash?" Misty said to Ash who was lying next to her in bed.
"What? Did your water break?" Ash jumped out of bed and started to dress.

"That’s in six months. I have something to ask of you."

"What is it?"
"Well, this is somewhat complicated so follow along."
"Well you see is Duplica is having a problem with Humanesque."

"What is it? Does she still love him? I know that he may not express his emotions well, but he does love her."
"Its not that, well close enough."

"What do you mean?"
"Well, since they been married they never consummated their marriage."
"Duplica and Humanesque haven’t done it yet."
"Done what?"
"Have sex Ash! They haven’t had sex and this is worrying Duplica."
"Well I don’t see how this would worry Duplica?"
"Its that she has needs that Humanesque isn’t delivering. She wants kids, but she got have sex for that."
"Well I’ll see what I can do."

"Thanks. I’ll make it up to you."

"You can’t have sex, your pregnant." Misty hit him on the arm.

"I meant your favorite dinner, you dummy."

"Oh ok. Night." Ash feel asleep.


"So, I’m I in trouble." Humanesque said.

"No your not in trouble." Ash said.

"Then why am I here?"
"We need to have a talk."
"About what?" Humanesque was confused.

"Well it has to do with Duplica."
"I’m I doing something wrong?"
"Well, it more of something that you don’t know your doing."
"What am I not doing?"
"Well, I don’t know who to put this." Ash thinks for a few seconds. "I know. Humanesque? How does your species mate?"
"You know produce off spring. Make babies."
"Ah. I see. Well when the time comes our bodies will split apart and a new ditto is born."

"I see, that explains a lot. Well you see... You have too... I need help. PIKACHU! Come in here."
"Yes Ash." Pikachu said as it walked into the room.
(note: To explain how Ash can under stand Pikachu you had to have read my first fanfic ‘the holding’)

"I need some help."
"About what?"
"I have to explain what mating is to Humanesque?"

"Um... Ahhh... I don’t know. You have to do it, not tell it." Ash hung his head.

"This is a lot harder then I thought. I need help, but who?"

A short while later..

"Hi Ash, what did you need me for?" Brock said as he entered.

"Well, I need help with a problem."
"Well I’m your man."
"That you are."
"So, what is your problem?"
"Well I need to explain what love making is to Humanesque." Brock thought for a few seconds before answering.
"I may have something that might be of help, but..."
"I don’t have it at the moment."

"Well who has it?"

A short while later again...

"Thanks James for bring it over."
"Sure, Jessie was coming home tomorrow form the fighting gym and you know how women are at finding these." Misty suddenly popped into the room.

"What is it Misty?"

"I smell something. Something dirty." Misty noticed the object in James hands. "Porn!? What is this doing in my house."
"We need to teach Humanesque about sex."
"But porn?! I thought you would have a talk with him, not this!"

"Men don’t learn sex though their fathers. They learn it though the magazines the father give him, but this is a emergency. So it must be done." Brock said with force behind his voice. Misty was stunned.

"Well ok, but I want it out of my house as soon as your done. And you can forget about dinner Ash." Ash sighed as Misty left.
"Where were you when I was getting cable." James said.
"I can’t be there for every one, but if men stand to up their for right for porn, they can stand up to anything." James and Ash saluted Brock.

"Lets just go and show him the tape."

"To the VCR."

"Okay Humanesque, this tape will teach you about mating." Brock said as he put the tape in the VCR.
"Should I take notes?"
"No, you shouldn’t." Ash pushes the play button and Humanesque watches the tape. A little while in to the movie Humanesque asked a question.

"What that?"
"That’s what your so post to have."
"Then yours must be really small."

"No there only like that when we’re going to have sex." James said.
"Oh sorry. And why is she screaming. Is she in pain?"
"No that means the guy is doing it right."
"So, pain is good."

"Ok when your doing it like that guy."

"But that not a guy."

"Opps. Forget that it goes in like that." Ash fast forward the tape. "Okay here we go."

"So if I follow this I’ll give Duplica what she wants."
"Ok I’ll try this tonight."


Duplica was lying in bed in her nightgown waiting for Humanesque. He promised a surprise and Ash said he had the talk with him. ‘I wait so long for this. I hope he got it right.’ Duplica heard a knock on the door. Duplica got grabbed her robe and opened her bedroom door. Humanesque was standing there wearing a pizza boy outfit, carrying a pool net in one hand, and a vacuum in the other.

"I’m here to clean your pool." He said with enthusiasm in his voice.
"What are you doing?"
"I doing what that guy did." He came inside and pulled out a index card. "This vacuum is really good at sucking things up."

"Stop this isn’t what I want." Duplica went up to her bed and curled up.
"What did I do wrong. I knew I should chosen the police mans outfit."

"No its not that. Its not supposed to be like this. This is supposed to be special."

"Then what am I doing wrong? I just want to make you happy."

"You want to make me happy. Well sit down and let me show you how!" Duplica pushed Humanesque to the bed and proceeds to rip his clothes off.


A few hours later, we find Duplica and Humanesque under their sheet of the bed. "So now that you had sex, did you like it?" Duplica asked.
"Well I understand why humans like this so much. It fun."
"So is that a yes?" "Humanesque nodded.

"Can we do it again."
"We just did for five hours straight. Let me rest a while."
"Well Okay. You know what to do." Humanesque’s smile was a mile wide as he went under the sheets.


Seven months later...

Humanesque was passing in the waiting room of the pokemon center. Ash and Misty where sitting. Misty was caring there new child Tyler. "You better stop pacing or you’ll wear a hole in the floor." (authors note: Duplica is a pokemon in my story, see ‘only half human’ for on how.)

"But its been hours. I can’t help it. I going to be a daddy."

"Was I like this when Tyler was born."
"No you where with Misty, unconscious."

"Oh yeah."
"Shouldn’t you be with Duplica?"
"The Chansey’s won’t let me and with the way Duplica is cussing, I don’t think I want to be there."
"That’s true. She was screaming her head off."
"Then I pick that up and she got really pissed." Nurse Joy came into the waiting room.

"Congratulation. There doing fine. All nine of them."
"Your wife and your kids."
"I have how many kids?"
"Eight." Humanesque then chose that moment to faint. "Ah oh. Chansey I need a stretcher."

"No I’m okay." Humanesque got up.
"Now I remember that part."
"Can we see the mother."

"Yeah. come this way." Nurse Joy lead them to down the hall to a room. "In here." Nurse Joy opened the door and they entered. Duplica was lying in bed holding one of the babies. The babies all looked much like Duplica or nurse joy .
"Why do they look like Duplica or nurse Joy?" Ash asked.
"I guess they mimicked the first thing they saw. They’ll create their own images when they get older."
"But for now aren’t they just precious. If I wasn’t holding Tyler, I just grab one of them."

"Don’t worry. You’ll have plenty of time to hold them later." Ash said.

"Oh yeah, honey?" Duplica said with a sweet voice.
"What is it dear?"
"Where’re killing your sperm."
"What? Why?"
"I don’t want to get pregnant again. Look at all these kids. Do you want this to happen every time we have sex?"
"Well no but..."

"But nothing. Your getting it done. Nurse Joy take him away."

"Come with me."
"No way your not taking me alive." Humanesque sprang for the door, but a bunch of Chansey’s blocked the way.

"Chansey’s take him away." The Chansey’s grabbed him and dragged him down the hall.


The End.

Got any questions, comments, flames email me at XPapazoglo@aol.com